Tati Westbrook's Indifference To Racism | Kat Blaque

Tati Westbrook’s newest apology video has a lot of things to unpack, but what stood out to me was how she seemed unbothered by Jeffree Star’s racism until recently.

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00:00 Setting the Stage
02:49 A Quick Summary of Tati, Jackie and Jeffree
04:39 Justifying Your Relationship w/ A Racist
08:33 Your Support Shows Where You Stand
09:58 Integrity and The Evil of Money
12:02 Sympathy for a Racist, but Not Their Victim
13:54 Making Amends and Conclusion

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Comment (37)

  1. So, this was an afterthought: I think that when you are a white person allying with people of color against racism, that it is certainly your responsibility to hold the people in your life who express racist beliefs and ideologies accountable for their racism. One of the upsetting things I've learned in life is that white folks will often hesitate to listen to me speak to them about racism, but they will certainly be more open to hearing it from a white person. I personally believe that emotional labor should be reserved for people who are in your life, not entirely by your choice. Family members specifically. People who you're gonna have to be around regardless. That's wasn't the dynamic between Jeffree and Tati. They are two people who have very different walks of life, who maintained a relationship despite these differences. Tati didn't NEED to have a relationship with Jeffree, but she chose to have one. She heard the numerous accusations of racism against him and they weren't enough for her to distance herself entirely from him. That's really what I'm talking about. People who will see that sort of relationship as more viable than their relationship with their black friends. It's easier for her to cut off Jeffree than it would be for you to cut off, say, your uncle. But honestly, either way, your allegiance to a racist can alienate your friends of color.

  2. Not every white person has a relationship with a racist which is more important…what I’ve heard you say a few times. But it’s true probably 97% of white folks are in a position like that. My grand folks are dead but I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to drop any family member if I suddenly learned they were racist. That shit was just not acceptable in my household or extended family. Maybe because my grandparents on my mothers side were from Germany and my grandfather was drafted into the nazi army as a medic. Maybe him being forced into that left an impression on him, a real bad taste in his mouth. And of course when the war ended he was placed in an American camp, eventually moving to the states when it was all over. As far as friends go, I don’t have them. However I am not friendly with a known racist. I have one person that has been in my life for 26 years. He is my only friend. He is absolutely not racist but certainly belongs to that other large percent of white folks that still has loving relationships with family members that I have a hunch might be a wee bit racist. Cause, you know, it was a different time and stuff. Which is really bullshit to me because if you care for someone, you should care enough to challenge these old fucked up ideas, even if they’re old now. So I will say that you’re almost 100% right about that but I also think the number of people that are passive about racism in personal relationships is declining because more kids are challenging the ppl with bad behaviors and ideas. People aren’t born with this hate. It’s learned. We all know that now. I believe things can sometimes be unlearned too. Sometimes.

  3. It is such an important, challenging question to ask us, because while I can say I have cut people out of my life who are racist, I have not cut my grandparents out of my life despite their vehement racism, and the vicious arguments we have had as a result of it. This is a hard thing to do, to cut people you love out of your life, but it is important for us to understand what we are saying by not doing so. I don't go out of my way to speak to them, but I also have a relationship with them.

    I appreciate you bringing this up because it has given me a lot to think about.

  4. I have cut off my family ( white)4 months ago and also my husbands family ( Puerto Rican) I am both white and Puerto Rican. I’m considered PR to some of my white family and white to my Puerto Rican family. It truly sucks and hurts! I will stand alone before standing besides racists. Yes it is a tuff decision because at my age 51 with a 13 year old son I wanted badly for my son to know his family. This past weekend my stepsons girlfriend who is black showed rasism toward me and I was uncomfortable in my own home disregarded as the white girl. I said nothing and not sure how to approach her in these different sensitive days. I understand what you’ve said about Tati but I do believe the manipulation because there are people that have mastered it.

  5. When I was a kid, I was a racist, I hate My self for that, I don't know why I was like that but I AM not a racist anymore. I woke up. I hope that more people do the same thing, for a better future with out discrimination

  6. ”Race & Racism is a Fraud” & I can prove it. None of my over 100 family members from Jamaica experience any form of racism anywhere, anytime. Not Ever! Watch my video & see why. Racism is a tool used to control the minds of the vulnerable. Please share!

  7. This hits home. My ex-bestfriend definitely prioritized her racist, bigoted family members and white relationships over our friendship. I was also the first Asian friend she had, and she herself was half asian…yet constantly defended her racist white family members.

    As always, great video, Kat.

  8. I mean were talking about a wealthy middle aged straight white woman who associated with two other pan/bi rich white men to ‘take down’ another 20yo gay kid she befriended and took under her wing and painted him as a terrible predator, this is pretty much the definition of not being sh’t if you ask me. So her not being aware of something she doesn’t go thru is far from far fetched.

  9. Girl, I'm very sorry, but I will never cut off my family for a friend. Doesn't matter the situation, racism involved or not. Thankfully my family isnt racist (well maybe against Arabs, but that's only because Iranians and Arabs lowkey have a thing) but even if they were, I wouldn't cut them off to stand up for a friend unless my parents did something against that friend that was a crime (such as assault, attempted murder, etc). If they are just making remarks I would obviously stand up for my friend and try to tell my parents that they shouldn't talk like that, but I owe my parents my life, and I will never owe any friend of mine as much as I do my parents. I might cut off my brother or a cousin if they are racist, but I can't do that to my parents. I'm indebted to them.

  10. Jeffrey Star definitely had no justification to act the way he did from the start. Bc she didn't owe him any forgiveness for his racist past. So if she didn't want to support him that's justified. I don't think it's right to get mad at people who are apart of the group that you hurt just because it was in the past. They don't owe you forgiveness just because you say sorry

  11. Hearing Kat explanation made me realize how amazing and forgiving Jackie truly it. I’m a petty ass person and would have thrown away Tati’s apology and drag her from here to Kingdom come for befriending Jeffree. Especially, if she claim to be an ally and Christian.

  12. That metaphor with the lion hits so close to the recently released Mean Girls Musical. Anything with Jeffree reminds me of it and especially one particular song titled Apex Predator. You being scared or having also gone through bullying does not justify actions such as in any way supporting those that may not bully you but still spread such hate. Especially if you have been bullied which honestly all of us have gone through at some point in our lives. So why don't we all choose to grow from it? Grow up. Sending out more blocks than hearts on Instagram is seriously so childish.

  13. I think that's the 1st time I actually disagree with an opinion of yours, and I'm really surprised. Maybe it's because I'm white idk. Also I'm French, I think it's important to give that context since we see the whole subject of ''races'' diffently (we don't use the word ''race'' btw to differentiate humans, English is weird, also we don't put our ethnicity in our official papers, that's also weird, I'm pointing that out because already the English-speaking system, specifically the American one, put a subconscious separation between people).

    Okay, so in your vid, you said that white people tend to be more forgiving to racists than black people. I think that's more of an universal thing. What I mean by that is that if you're black for example and your family is racist against white people, or Asians, or any other ethnicity, you'll tend to be more forgiving to them, because it's people you care about. It's people you didn't chose specifically, you were born into your family, but you may have outgrown their close minded views, but still appreciate them for taking care of you.

    Family and friends/romantic relationships are not the same thing. Friends and lovers are ultimately people you chose to spend your time with. People you chose to love. There I agree with you, if people choose to befriend a racist, knowing that they are racist, without even trying to educate them, they are racists. To a lesser extent maybe, but it's still there

  14. I cut off my racist extended family a couple years ago. It wasn't the only reason I stopped seeing them, but one of many reasons. They've never met my husband despite my parents pushing. I got tired of forced affection. I got tired of my aunt making racist comments about the lady she pays to do her nails.

  15. I’m not white. I’m mixed, and it’s very difficult when it’s your very own mother, and she’s also very much abusive. It’s more tricky when your dad don’t feel offended enough to do something. I mean, sometimes it’s not easy to caught relationships off, it’s not. But I understand and agree with you, and I try to keep people that I recognize as being racist away and when they not that close to me, I don’t think twice!

  16. This video really got to me. When I first started dating my partner we lived with his college roommates.
    I will never forget how depressed and angry I felt being in that house because his roommates were racist and agaisnt the lgbtq+ community. They looked at me, a trans guy like I was sick. They didn't even know I am half black too so they said the N word all the time.
    My partner didn't speak up for me and that is what hurt the most.
    He told me he just believed everyone had freedom of speech. It wasn't hurting him and he wanted to please them so much that I had to suffer.
    They one time said while I was in the room "would you date a transgender person " and was talking about a transgender person's body parts. It made me feel uncomfortable and disgusted but my partner wasn't around for that. Later on my partner began to stand up for me.
    We are together still and happily live in our own appartment. The reason things gotten better for us is when he became more outspoken. He legit cussed his mom out on the phone when she said racist shit and called me a "libtard" for using sage in the house and because of who I am.
    When that happened I finally forgave him for not speaking up for me in the past. I just felt he was too scared to stand up for what is right. Unfortunately there are a lot of people like that.
    I'm just happy he no longer hangs out with those "friends" and he doesn't even talk to them.
    But damn did it hurt to have my beloved let others talk shit about people like myself.
    I hope less people will experience this.

  17. The idea that their are “good white people” is why systematic racism still exist. If their were ALL these good white folks, systemic racism wouldn’t exist. We would be hearing about all of these “good white folks” doing something tangible about racism besides giving Black folks lip service.

  18. Feeling a little relieved that without hesitation, I could answer yes to both questions of if I'd cut off a racist family member or romantic partner before I would a black friend. Then again I already hate my family and I am very particular about who I'd date even casually nowadays. They need to be a decent person, which means no racism.

  19. I left almost my entire friendgroup because of how racist they were, they were just a bunch of white boys who thought saying the n-word of funny and kept trying to get the “n-word pass” from me. Only got one friend now but hes the best honestly

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